A personal contemplation on burnout, shadow alchemy & Gene Key 47

At the Beginning of 2025, I Thought I Was Done

There’s a specific kind of silence that follows emotional burnout — not the peaceful kind, but the eerie, hollow kind. The one that settles in after your nervous system has screamed for months, and you finally stop pretending not to hear it. That was me on the first of January 2025, experiencing my first panic attack in over 2 years; a panic attack so visceral I couldn’t breathe. Not from fear of something new, but from the slow ache of everything familiar no longer fitting. My body was saying what I hadn’t yet had the courage to admit: the way I was doing business, showing up, holding it all — wasn’t working anymore.

And yet from the outside, things looked beautiful. I had created a multiple-6-figure business, supported hundreds of women through their becoming, built a brand rooted in depth and truth. But inside? I felt hollow. Exhausted. Numb. I wasn’t just tired — I was disoriented. I couldn’t recognize the version of myself that kept showing up, pushing through, launching, delivering. Something inside me had cracked wide open. I thought I was burning it all down.

What I didn’t realize at the time was this: I wasn’t breaking.
I was being reforged.

What Burnout Really Meant

Burnout is so often framed as weakness. As failure. As a sign that you couldn’t keep up, didn’t plan well, or should have “optimized better.” But I’ve come to see it as something entirely different. Burnout is your soul’s refusal to let you betray yourself any longer. It’s your nervous system rising up with ancient intelligence, saying: No more false pace. No more performance. No more being everything for everyone while forgetting who you are.

For me, the collapse wasn’t a collapse at all. It was a threshold. A sacred descent into the shadow. The beginning of a deeper cycle of alchemy. All the systems, strategies, and structures that once held me up suddenly felt brittle. My inner world was ready to shatter what wasn’t true — so I could return to what was.

Burnout wasn’t the end of my path.
It was the beginning of remembering who I came here to be.

Gene Key 47: The Mirror I Didn’t Know I Needed

My Life’s Work is Gene Key 47. I’ve spoken about it before — the shadow of oppression, the gift of transmutation, the siddhi of transfiguration — but I didn’t realize just how much this frequency would live through me in real time. This wasn’t a contemplative concept anymore. It became a cellular experience.

Gene Key 47 carries the burden of mental loops, ancestral stories, and emotional residue that weighs heavy on the soul. At its shadow frequency, it feels like carrying an invisible load — like walking through life with concrete boots of pressure, perfectionism, and inherited trauma. That’s what I felt at the start of the year. The weight of old narratives. The pressure to keep going. The mental exhaustion of trying to make sense of a path I had outgrown.

But the beauty of Gene Key 47 is that the burden is never the final word. Its gift is transmutation — the alchemical process of turning pressure into power, pain into prayer. This gift doesn’t come through the mind. It comes through surrender. Through devotion. Through sitting in the dark long enough to feel your own light again.

What I Found in the Dark

When I stopped trying to figure it all out, something softened. I let myself spiral. I canceled plans. I paused my business entirely. I entered deep rest. I cried in ways I hadn’t cried in years. And in that raw space of nothingness, something returned — something ancient, sacred, familiar.

My words came back first — not the polished ones for content or launches, but the messy, holy, whispered ones that emerged through journaling, breath, and tears. Writing stopped being something I did to market. It became my lifeline. A devotional act of remembering.

This is how INTO GOLD was born. Not from strategy. From silence. From sitting in the ruins of who I thought I had to be, and letting something truer rise from the ash. INTO GOLD is not just a brand. It’s a frequency. It’s my commitment to live and create from the gift — not from the shadow.

Because I’m no longer interested in building things from burnout.
I’m here to build from alignment.
From embodiment.
From resonance.

Transmutation Is Not a One-Time Event — It’s a Living Cycle

The truth is: transmutation doesn’t happen once and stay done. It’s cyclical. You will meet your shadows again and again. You will descend. You will feel lost. You will burn. But you will also rise — wiser, softer, more honest, more whole.

Burnout didn’t break me. It stripped me. It revealed what was never mine to carry. It handed me back to myself.

So if you’re in your own moment of unraveling right now — questioning it all, feeling like your energy is gone, like your voice is hiding from you — know this: You are not failing. You are being refined.

Your pressure is not a punishment.
It’s an invitation into your power.

Your Next Step: Begin Your Own Transmutation

If this speaks to your soul — if your nervous system is asking for a new way, if you’re feeling called into your own rebirth — I created the Soul Signal Starter Course for you. It’s a free self-inquiry experience that walks you into your Life’s Work Gene Key with depth, safety, and devotion.

Inside, you’ll:

• Decode your Life’s Work placement

• Identify the shadow frequency holding you back

• Feel into the gift that wants to emerge

• Begin the somatic unraveling that leads to aligned creation

This isn’t just information.
It’s energetic remembrance.
It’s the beginning of transmutation.

→ Sign up for the free Soul Signal Starter Course here

Final Words

You are not here to burn yourself out for belonging.
You are here to become a vessel for truth.
To let the fire refine you — not destroy you.

The version of you that emerges on the other side?
She won’t need to prove her power.
She’ll radiate it.

She is not a reinvention.
She is the original frequency — unburdened, embodied, and INTO GOLD.